Why Silence is Golden During a Massage — For Both Therapist and Client
The single most common complaint I hear from people about massage is: “The therapist wouldn’t stop talking.”
There’s a lot to unpack in that one sentence.
The Problem with a Talkative Therapist
First of all, as a client, you’re paying good money to receive a therapeutic experience—not to make small talk for an hour. No matter how skilled the therapist might be, if they’re chatting—especially about unrelated topics—they’re not fully tuned in to you and your needs.
Massage is, at its best, a focused and intuitive practice. A therapist should be listening with their hands, not their voice. When I’m working on a client, I want to give my full attention to what I’m feeling, sensing, and adjusting moment by moment. Excessive conversation breaks that flow.
And let’s not forget the bigger picture: The purpose of massage is to unwind, to decompress, and to mentally step away from the stress of everyday life. Ideally, the session becomes a kind of reset for your nervous system—a quiet place where your thoughts can slow down and your body can take a deep breath. Talking interferes with that stillness.
That said, if a few minutes of light conversation at the start helps you relax, that’s completely fine. And naturally, any communication that’s directly related to the therapy—like pressure adjustments or pain points—is absolutely welcome. But beyond that, silence really is golden.
What About When the Client Won’t Stop Talking?
Here’s something people don’t talk about as often: Sometimes, it’s the client who’s doing all the talking.
There are a few reasons this happens. Some clients feel nervous and don’t quite know how to settle in. Others are so used to being “on” all day—especially in high-stress or high-interaction jobs—that they carry that same energy right into the massage room. Some even feel an odd sense of guilt about “just receiving” and think they owe the therapist a conversation in return for the service.
But here’s the truth: You don’t owe anyone anything during a massage.
You’re here to relax, to let go, to breathe. You don’t have to fill the silence. You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t need to entertain your therapist. In fact, the more you can drop into a state of quiet, the more benefits you’re likely to receive—from deeper relaxation to improved focus, energy, and even emotional clarity.
Some clients even use the massage space to vent or talk through their stress. And while that can feel cathartic in the moment, it tends to keep the nervous system activated, rather than soothed. A skilled massage therapist is not a licensed therapist or life coach (unless they are, in which case that’s a different appointment!). We’re here to help your body soften—and that usually works best in quiet.
The Bottom Line:
Whether you’re a massage therapist or a client, practicing silence is a powerful gift. A few words exchanged for comfort or clarity? Absolutely. But when in doubt, say less. Breathe more.
The healing happens in the quiet.
